I love meeting new people, and being that I am from New Zealand that happens quite often, also living in Colorado adds to the effect, I don’t meet a lot of people that are actual natives, and the people I meet have had little to no contact with New Zealander’s, or as we prefer to be called “KIWI’s.”

I want to take this opportunity to clear up something up…when you go to the store and buy the little (undersized) brown fuzzy and extremely tasty piece of fruit, the label with the price (way over) printed below will read “KIWI.”  This my friends is false advertising, for in fact the KIWI is a small flightless bird, native to New Zealand, and our National Symbol (go ahead and Google it.)

I did Google it, not only to make sure I was on the right track but also out of curiosity.  The second thing that comes up is that Kiwi’s are actually people, that’s where the “me” comes into this..well they are not actual people, it is our Nickname, go ahead, check the second result that Google gives you, and you can see I am not actually on my soap box (anyone that has ever been lucky enough to meet a Kiwi will know we don’t stand on soap boxes we stand on beer crates…I Googled that one myself and don’t recommend it.)

So anyway, it really is me.  Yes that is correct, I am a KIWI.  No I am not a small flightless bird about the same size as a domestic chicken, I am not covered in feathers and I am not Australian…I had to add that last part just to make sure you are paying attention, also Australian’s are called Aussies, which is pronounced “Ozzy,” like the singer (term used very loosely.)  But I digress.

Okay so let’s get to the fruit, the small brown fuzzy thing you (and I) pay way too much for.  It turns out that the fruits name has so many different backgrounds that  while researching them I quite often chuckled out loud.  Well, it is actually a Chinese Gooseberry, and I can assure you I am neither, Chinese, a Goose or in fact a Berry.  The fruit was renamed for marketing purposes, apparently some importer decided the name was not suitable, they wanted something different and shorter and that is how KIWIFRUIT came about…but rumor has it that even that name was too long and “KIWI” was soon adopted as the common name for the Chinese Gooseberry AKA Kiwifruit.  Oh how the power of marketing has such a dramatic effect on our lives, so much in so that I need an iBeer.

Yeah, I am a Kiwi, I was born in New Zealand to a couple of “Kiwi’s” that had the luck to be born there too, and fortune fell upon them also…I could keep going, but to be honest the details at this point might be a little blurred.  Anyway, if you can’t already tell by this point, I was not on the debate team…for very long.  So let me wrap this up for you as best as I can:

KIWI: Small  flightless bird, indigenous to New Zealand.

KIWI: Not so small, but still flightless human indigenous to New Zealand..if you are lucky enough to meet one, buy them a drink and enjoy the tales that they have to weave.

KIWIFRUIT:  Small flightless Fruit, brown and fuzzy and green inside….Please do NOT peel it, feel free to wipe the fuzzy bits back a little bit, but you’ll find the flavor really explodes when you leave the skin on.

My recommendation to you, when you finally get to my beautiful (shameless plug) homeland of New Zealand ( in the south pacific…not Australia or Europe,) I strongly suggest that you do not say “I would really like to try a delicious Kiwi.”

That is unless you are willing to buy us a drink.